Psst.

Psst. Hey.

Hey Mike. Hey.

It’s me. Your gas tank.

I’m a little hungry.

Thirsty, really. I could use a drink. A drink of gas.

Yeah, that’s right.

I’m starting to get a little peckish here. Think you could maybe pull over, get out the old credit card and hook me up?

Oh, come on. Just a little sippy sip. For your old pal Tanky. C’mon, friend. Think of all the fun we had. The other day, I took you to that store, and just a few weeks ago we were going to work almost every day! I took you everwhere, and we went there together. The least you could do is just gimme a little drinky drink.

What’s that? I know it’s expensive man. The stuff you need always is. Well, no, milk isn’t but gas isn’t milk, otherwise we’d have declared war on Wisconsin.

Ok, geez. Sorry. Sensitive subject. Look, I just need a little gas, bud. Just a little bit.

Say, why haven’t I seen you around lately? Seems like just last week we were going to work every day together, and now, in the past few weeks I’ve only seen you once or twice. What’s the deal? You’re not cheating on me are you? Ha!

What?

WHAT?

You have a new job, and there’s no parking? Well how do you–

No. No way. With the bus? You jerk!

And a bike??!? What are you thinking?! You know how unsafe those are? I heard people have to wear helmets! How dare you start seeing some bike over me?

Look, just pull over. There’s a Shell, just pull over right here. I’m getting a little sick of this.

You passed it. Where are you going?

You can’t go home! That’s it, I’m turning the low fuel light on. How would you like it if I stopped right here, mister? How would you like that? Would the bike get you home? How about the bus? Didn’t think so.

Where are you turning? Is this the garage already?

Look, Mike, I’m sorry. I take it all back. You can ride the bike if you want, I just need a little gas. C’mon old buddy, old pal. Just a– aaah crap don’t close that garage door. Seriously, I’ll take you anywhere you need to go.

Just a little gas, that’s all I need. Where are you going now? You’re leaving me out here?

Awww come on, man. I’m thirsty. When am I going to see you next? Fine then, I guess I don’t know either! You’ll be sorry. Don’t close that– oh, fine close the door!

Wow. A bus. I never thought we’d come to this.

Jerk.