I’ve been playing Advance Wars DS a lot lately. It’s a strategy game where you fight turn-based wars with little men and tanks.

Before the Battle

Listen up, men.

It’s going to be tough out there. I’m not going to lie to you. You’re all little red men and tanks, and there’s some black men and tanks out there, and they can’t wait to kill you. They’re going to be coming at you, one turn at a time, and when they reach you, there’s going to be some bloodshed.

Some of you won’t be coming back alive. Some of you won’t be coming back… at all.

Now, I’ve trained. I’ve gone through all the training levels, and learned each of your strengths and weaknesses. I know infantry is good against mechs, and that tanks are strong against ground forces, and only anti-aircraft guns will take down choppers. I’ve practiced with those bombs, and I’ll get you in position as quickly as possible to capture cities. We’ve got a hell of a chance, guys.

But you have to admit, in these later levels, this is a tough game. A really tough game. And things might happen out there. Bad things.

We might be on the bus, and I might be looking up, trying to see if my stop is coming up, and I just might forget that artillery is very weak and needs to be at least one space away from the things it’s attacking. I just might forget that APCs do more that resupply– they allow very fast troop transport. And I might even forget that I’ve got a SuperPower I can put in effect– you never know, I might reach the end of my turn, and realize I should have tagged out my COs.

And when that happens, men, you’re going to die. Your little figures are going to explode, right there on the field. Sure, you won’t bleed, and it won’t be as bad as war really is, but who knows where you go when you get blown off that little screen? I don’t. Maybe it’s heaven.

Or maybe it’s hell.

So before you head off to an eternity undefined, make your stand here! I’ll send you to your positions– go to them proudly! Because you, you men and tanks, are members of my army! And we all fight together for rank points, and upgrades for our COs, and money that can be used each turn to build more of you!

And beyond that, we fight for the joy of strategy! And if the worst should happen, don’t fret, men. If the worse should happen out there on that battlefield, and our HQ get assaulted, or all of our units die, don’t worry. Don’t despair! Fight on!

Because, if necessary, I can always just reload the game.