Reddit had a lot of fun the other day with horror stories using only two sentences. But horror is definitely not my favorite genre.

Two-Sentence Murder Mysteries

Mr. Body was found murdered in the library with a knife on Saturday night. Everyone was extremely surprised when it was discovered that the butler did it.

A bomb exploded in a public stadium. “Don’t worry, chief, I’ll get whoever did this,” said the cop whose brother turned out to be the terrorist.

Sherlock Holmes said a lot of confusing things and made Watson travel all over London before he finally revealed why the victim died, and how. “Elementary, my dear Watson,” he told the frustrated military doctor.

The dame with the blonde hair and the short red dress came slinking through my office door like wax melting out of a candle. We had sex, but I got punched in the face a whole lot first.

In the distant, far-flung future, a naked man lies dead in front of a holo-computer screen showing only static. A hard-bitten, technophobe bounty hunter will have to explore a lot of dingy bars before finding the android responsible.

A wealthy heiress is murdered while her butler is off on vacation. Everyone was wrong about that, though — he’s the one who did it.

In the middle of World War 2, a corrupt lieutenant disappears under mysterious circumstances. Fortunately, an up-and-coming army officer is honorable enough to dismantle the conspiracy that was actually assembled by an even more corrupt four star general.

I’m the narrator of this story, but some of the things I’m telling you don’t make sense. That’s because I am, wheelbarrow Alcatraz horseradish, a murderer myself!

A woman with a promising future in publishing dies, and the police interview her greedy boss, a creepy guy from her church, and her best friend. Most of the evidence seems to point at her best friend, except for some secret evidence her best friend finds, which proves the greedy boss did it.

The butler was arrested yet again after another grisly murder of an elderly oil magnate. He pleaded with his captors as he dragged away: “I’m sorry, I just can’t stop!”

Posted on Monday, July 29th, 2013 at 10:13 pm. Filed under general.
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