Jamie Sides is one of my oldest friends, and probably the most regular reader of this website, which automatically makes her good people. Yesterday was her birthday. You probably don’t know her, but send me a nice birthday note for her anyway, and I’ll pass it on.

Dear City of Chicago Department of Revenue,

On Monday night, March 21, 2005, I arrived at my vehicle parked in the 1400 block of [street withheld] to find this ticket (enclosed) on my windshield. The ticket was issued to me because the front plate was missing from my vehicle. Although this was true, at the time, I’m sending you this letter to contest this ticket, and ask you kindly to consider rescinding the charge against me.

A few days prior to my recieving the ticket, I had come back to my car, parked legally on the street, to find my front license plate still attached, but about to fall off. Someone, probably parked in front of me, had bumped the front of my car, and had broken the holder on the license plate. There were two bolts connected by two plastic hooks, and one of the plastic hooks had been cracked apart completely, and the other one was hanging on by a thread. Not wanting the plate to fall off and be lost and/or potentially damage my car’s underside, I went ahead and removed the plate the rest of the way, and kept it under the front seat of my car. Note: at no time did the plate ever leave the inside of my car. Had any law official asked me, I would have been happy to show it to them, along with my valid driver’s license and registration. Also note: the plate on the back of my car was clearly accessible and firmly secured the entire time. There would have been no doubt that the car I drive was both legally owned and licensed by me.

Of course, as soon as I recieved the ticket, I made plans to reattach the plate. I was quite busy over the weekend– in addition to a job as a full time retail manager, I also freelance for a couple of magazines here in Chicago. However, the following Tuesday, as soon as I could, I made a trip to the local hardware store, and reattached the plate in question. As proof, I have enclosed a picture of the reattached plate, again clearly accessible and available, as my back plate had been the entire time.

Although I have not lived here long, I have a great respect for the City of Chicago and the government that runs it. We’ve met once before, you and I– I recieved a parking ticket for parking under a viaduct, and in that case quickly acknowledge my error and paid the ticket in total. I have also had experience with your legal “cousin,” if you will– Jesse White, the Secretary of State of Illinois. He sent me a letter a while back asking me to get my car emissions-tested, and again, I did so with the utmost speed and required reverence. That time, I was able to fix the problem before legal action was necessary.

And so, City of Chicago Department of Revenue, I present my case. I acknowledge your complaint, and, even though my car’s condition was originally the result of someone else’s actions, I have taken quick and necessary steps to rectify the situation. I kindly request that you consider the situation and dismiss the charge against me. I thank you for your quick answer, and wish you good day.

Sincerely,

Mike Schramm