Ladies and gentlemen, my life is now complete. After yesterday’s Star Wars conversation got picked up on Boing Boing, I accomplished a lifelong dream. I was featured as a USA Today Hipclick by the illustrious Whitney Matheson. I’ve never met her, but with a name and website like that, I just assume she must be illustrious. When I was a child, I used to lie in bed and dream of the stars. I used to dream of one day flying to them, visiting the heavens, and soaring with God. Back then, when I dreamed, somehow I knew that one day I would live my dreams.

And now I’ve been featured on Hipclicks. Today is that day.

P.S. If you’re in Chicago tomorrow, you better be here.

I’m not from Chicago or anything, and I don’t really care one way or the other about the Illini. But my bracket self-destructed early on, losing me $5 in the process. So I’m a little bitter.

Q: Why couldn’t the Fighting Illini find their way home last night?

A: Because THEY were LOST.

Q: Why did all the Illini players fail their French tests?

A: Something was LOST in translation.

Q: Why didn’t anybody sit with the baseketball players from the University of Illinois in junior high school?

A: Because they were LOSERS.

Q: What’s the Fighting Illini’s favorite TV show?

A: LOST.

Q: What will the Illinois players do in the offseason?

A: Who cares? THEY LOST.

Q: Why are the Illinois players such losers?

A: Good question.