I’m telling you, Susie. The other day, I saw Amanda chewing down on a steak, and then afterwards she ate an egg! Fried! Doesn’t she know?

Doesn’t she know that the Atkins Diet is totally over? I mean, that low carb stuff? That’s like definitely three, maybe four months ago.

Didn’t you hear Dr. Atkins is dead? Apparently the guy who was telling us all not to eat carbs and stuff had major bongo health problems. And the Atkins company? The one who was selling all the Atkins branded stuff? Yeah, they just filed for bankruptcy yesterday.

For real, Susie. If you’re still on the Atkins Diet, you’re a total square. Eating bread is in and gorging on high protein foods is out, way out.

Did you hear about Mary? Someone peeked in her locker when she was closing it, and they saw a frying pan in there. A frying pan! Can you believe it? She’s probably been loading up on proteins, and then burning them off as quickly as possible, so that she can drop to a lower percentage of body fat. What a loser! Totally?

All right, let’s go be cool and eat some bread, because carbs, Susie, are back in! For the moment, anyway. I just saw Paris Hilton on TV the other day, chowing down a baguette. We are going to be so hip when all the other kids see us with high carb foods! It’ll be sweet!

What’s that? You’re worried that we’ll get fat eating all those carbs. Don’t worry about that, Susie. Diet fads may come and go, but fortunately binging and purging never goes out of style.