Sorry about the lackluster post yesterday. I was trying to think of something that didn’t involve making fun of Tom Cruise AGAIN, and that’s all I came up with.

I forgot to mention this the other day, but I wrote this piece, and it showed up in Newcity on Wednesday.

Have a good weekend!

SALES ASSOCIATE: Boy, we sure sold a lot of whatever we sell today, didn’t we?

MANAGER: We sure did. You were awesome, with the “please buy this” and “that’ll be five million dollars!” Great stuff!

SALES ASSOCIATE: Thanks, but of course it was because of the great management! HA!

MANAGER: HA! Ok, well, we’re closed then. Let’s, uh, count the change or whatever. Can you grab a broom or something? Someone spilled something all over the floor. Oh, wait this is Hermes– it’s probably money! HA!

SALES ASSOCIATE: HA! Wait, I don’t get it.

MANAGER: Neither do I.

[Noise from offstage]

MANAGER: Did you hear that?

SALES ASSOCIATE: Hear what?

[Noise from offstage, banging on door and yelling]

MANAGER: There it is again. Someone’s banging on the door.

SALES ASSOCIATE: I didn’t hear– oh, wait, yeah. I just heard it. What do you think that is?

MANAGER: I don’t know. Did you turn off the neon OPEN sign?

SALES ASSOCIATE: (nods)

MANAGER: Did you flip up the “closed” sign?

SALES ASSOCIATE: (nods)

MANAGER: Did you put out the “We’ll reopen tomorrow” sign?

SALES ASSOCIATE: I did.

MANAGER: Hmmmm. Wonder what it is then. Go see. I’ll count the money, or whatever.

[SALES ASSOCIATE goes out front to see what the noise is]

MANAGER: 1, 2, 3… Did you see what it was?

SALES ASSOCIATE: It’s just some crazy lady. She wasn’t speaking French, which is what we speak, because we’re in France. I’m not sure what she was saying, but she’s banging on the door.

MANAGER: Weird. We’re closed and stuff, though.

SALES ASSOCIATE: She did say something about buying a watch. And Tina Turner.

MANAGER: Tina Turner? Why would anybody buy anything for Tina Turner? She’s obviously crazy.

SALES ASSOCIATE: So, you want me to let her in or what now?

MANAGER: Look, we’re closed, she’s a loon, I say no. Let’s put all this money away, sneak out the back door, and have a baguette? Oui?

SALES ASSOCIATE: Oui. But what if she’s a huge TV star in America and threatens to complain on her TV show about us not letting her in after we’re closed?

MANAGER: A TV star? Only an American TV star would complain about not getting preferential treatment in France. We’ll make something up about an event or something. Put that broom away, and let’s scram.

[FIN]