I’ve been wanting do to a quiz for a long time. Happy Labor Day Weekend! If you’re in Chicago, what do you say to a little BBQing on Monday? Call me!

Answer each question as honestly as you can. Make sure to write down your answers, and then tally them up at the end to see how much Mike Schramm you are!

1. What’s your favorite color?

A. Mauve.

B. Black.

C. Blue.

2. What would you rather do on a Friday night after a long week?

A. Stay home and spend the night playing Midnight Club 3 online.

B. Stay home and spend the night playing Counterstrike online.

C. Stay home and spend the night playing Diablo II online.

3. When you go to the bar, what kind of drink do you order?

A. I don’t go to the bar.

B. Anything but beer!

C. A beer, preferably Guinness.

4. Are you…

A. Pretty cool.

B. The coolest!

C. Freaking awesome! And totally cool.

5. Which of these jokes is funniest?

A. “Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide.”

B. “Did you hear about the two antennas who got married? The wedding wasn’t very good, but the reception was great!”

C. Doctor: “I’m sorry, I’ve got very bad news. You’ve got cancer. And Alzheimer’s.” Patient: “Well at least I don’t have cancer!”

6. Your fashion sense is…

A. Exquisite! Check out these shoes!

B. Sensible.

C. Missing.

7. Cake is…

A. A tasty birthday treat.

B. A geeky, lame rock band.

C. The apeothosis of all that is good and true about music.

8. What’s your favorite movie?

A. Superman.

B. Batman.

C. Batman Returns.

9. A peanut butter and cheese sandwich sounds…

A. Gross.

B. Tasty.

C. Like dinner.

10. Finally, girls (for women, guys) think you are…

A. Hot.

B. Cute.

C. “Nice.”

Ready to tally them up? Give yourself one point for every A answer, two points for every B answer, and three points for every C answer, and then check how much Mike Schramm you are below!

Under 10 points:

You missed a question, dude. Try again.

10-17 points:

You’re not very Mike Schramm. You may think that makes you “lucky,” but guess what, pal? You’re missing out on the finer things in life. Time for you to start taking more chances and geeking it out a little more. Ever slaughtered demons with a +4 Ice Sword or spent half an hour thinking about what it would really be like to be Batman? Didn’t think so. Slow down, take in life a little more, and try doing some things that aren’t as “cool” as you usually are. Remember, when all is said and done, the geeks will inherit the earth, baby!

18-24 points:

You’re kind of Mike Schramm, but you’ve still got a little way to go. Have you ever actually watched Batman Returns, or tried a perfectly poured Guinness? If the answer is no, you might think about doing so. Sure, things are going pretty well for you now, but you never know when a little Mike Schramm might come in handy. Of course, you might be OK if you’re a friend of Mike Schramm, because then you can just call him when the going gets tough. Just keep in mind that there’s a lot of videogames out there– he might not be around every time you need him.

25-29 points:

You’re pretty Mike Schramm! Isn’t life great? You get to be cool in a geeky way and geeky in a cool way! You’ve got a great sense of humor, you’re smart, and may we say that your sense of taste and decorum is practically impeccable? We may? OK then we will. Keep on keeping on the way you are, bud! Schramm it up in style!

30 points:

Either you are Mike Schramm or you figured out early on how the quiz works (I know, not that hard). Either go back and take it for real, or, if you are Mike Schramm, then rock on! Oh, and Mike, sorry about finishing off the bread the other day. I’ll get you back. We still on for Saturday night? Cool. Peace.