The MPAA says they lost $6.1 billion dollars last year due to movie piracy. Where did it all go?

$500 million of Pixar movie downloads, so viewers could catch all the in-jokes

$25 million in downloads of Crash. Those stupid black, white, Mexican, and Chinese people using bittorrent.

$691 million in downloads of Brokeback Mountain, so gay people could watch the love scenes over and over…

$882 million in downloads of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, so straight people could watch the love scenes over and over…

$2 billion of sales in Chinese fake burns of just released movies (sample titles: Gardener of Constants, Wars of the World, El King Kong)

$52 million in downloads of Dukes of Hazzard, because people were too embarassed to actually watch it in the theater, and only wanted to see the scenes with Jessica Simpson

$2 million in downloads of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo. Those were all accidents, actually.

$1 billion in downloads of Star Wars: Episode III. Weeks before the movie was even released.

And let’s throw one more billion dollars in there for the industry that’s willing to lie and say any downloads at all consist of lost profit. Like people were really going to pay for all the crap they downloaded.

In fact, that last one probably ends up comprising the whole $6 billion. MPAA = jerks.