Mass Effect 2 came out today, and I’m looking forward to it, but I’m still playing Dragon Age. And I think I’ve figured out why.

Jonash: Hello! Welcome to the thriving city of Denerim! What can I do for you?

• What’s here in Denerim?
• Who are you?
• Where can I find Brother Genetivi?
• Do you have anything for sale?

Chumley: What’s here in Denerim?

Jonash: Oh, lots of things! The shops are mostly in the main square, but you can find different places to go all over the city. Just be sure to stay out of the Elven Alienage — that place is a mess. Anything else I can help you with?

• What’s here in Denerim?
• Who are you?
• Where can I find Brother Genetivi?
• Do you have anything for sale?

Chumley: Who are you exactly?

Jonash: Oh my name is Jonash, I’m the blacksmith here in this part of town. My son used to help me, but, well, it’s just me lately…

• Oh no! What happened?
• Where’s your son? Can I help in some way?
• Haven’t you hired another assistant?
• I hope that doesn’t mean I have to wait.

Chumley: Oh no! What happened to your son?

Jonash: Oh, he’s been rebelling against me for a while — he left about a week ago and hasn’t been back since. I would be more worried, but he’s been gone before, and at least it’s one less mouth to food. I would like to have him back, but only for the work. I don’t have enough money to hire anyone else.

• Can I help in some way?
• Haven’t you hired another assistant?
• I hope that doesn’t mean I have to wait.

Chumley: Can I help in some way?

Jonash: No, not really. Unless you find him somewhere around the city. I don’t know if he’d want to come back at all, but if you do find him, I guess you could tell him that the irons need heating again.

• Haven’t you hired another assistant?
• I hope that doesn’t mean I have to wait.

Chumley: Haven’t you hired another assistant?

Jonash: Wait, didn’t you hear me? I already said I didn’t have enough money to hire anyone else. Are you even listening to these answers?

• Tell me again about Denerim.
• Where can I find Brother Genetivi?
• Do you have anything for sale?

Chumley: What’s here in Denerim?

Jonash: Seriously? Didn’t you already ask that question? Are you just clicking all of the choices so you can make sure to hear everything? I told you — Denerim is the market and a lot of other places. It’s all on your map, just go look.

• Tell me again about Denerim.
• Where can I find Brother Genetivi?
• Do you have anything for sale?

Chumley: Where can I find Brother Genetivi?

Jonash: Brother Genetivi? Never heard of him. But I believe he usually hangs out near the Chantry — which you probably would have known if you’d actually paid attention to your quest log instead of stopping by every single NPC to ask them every single question you could because video games have conditioned you to talk to everyone. No wonder this game is taking you so long. Can I help you with anything else?

• What’s here in Denerim?
• Who are you?
• Tell me again about Brother Genetivi.
• Do you have anything for sale?

Chumley: Tell me again about Brother Genetivi.

Jonash: Sigh. I already told you everything I know, and you didn’t even have to ask me about that. Seriously, I don’t know why Bioware even bothered to record all of this dialogue — it’s completely meaningless to both of us.

• What’s here in Denerim?
• Who are you?
• Tell me again about Brother Genetivi.
• Do you have anything for sale?

Chumley: Do you have anything for sale?

Jonash: Sure, here you go. Feel free to spend five minutes sorting through all of the junk you picked up in the last dungeon, because you’re playing this game like Diablo and think that you need to save everything for vendor trash. I’m sure you’ll do the same thing at the next vendor, even though we pretty much have all the same stuff anyway. Man, you’re bad at playing this game.