I’m about to watch an award winning film, but this is what I’ve been thinking about. Hopefully I won’t say anything out of line.

Million Dollar Baby

A million dollar baby? Well.

I have to say, that’s a pretty expensive baby. I mean, I know you want it and all, but let’s just consider for a second now.

After all, a million dollars is a lot of money. You could buy a lot of things with a million dollars. Are you sure this baby is what you want?

I mean this doesn’t even really look like a million dollar baby. Sure, maybe a hundred thousand dollar baby. Maybe even a five or seven hundred thousand dollar baby, if its hair wasn’t messed up so much. But a million dollars? I’m not so sure.

And this is a big investment, too. Are you sure that money won’t be better off in the stock market? What kind of percentage rate does this baby grant you? Think it could clear at least six percent? And what about in the long run? I’d say the market could probably back you up on at least seven or eight percent in the next eighteen years. Think this baby can match that kind of ROI?

Think of what else you could do with a million dollars now, before you go doing anything rash. You could buy four hundred expensive cars. You could buy 900 iMacs. You could feed like two million of those poor kids in Africa. You could buy a million bags of Fritos Flavor Twists! And then pass them out like some kind of Flavor Twist Fairy! That’s at least like two hundred million little Flavor Twists, man. Are you sure you want to pass up all that flavor, just for this baby?

Ok, if you say so. But don’t tell me I didn’t say anything. It’s your money, you can do with it what you want. But a million dollars is a lot of money. I mean, a million dollar baby?