A new feature! In which I find a few completely random blogs from Blogspot, and mercilessly and snobbily critique them for your viewing pleasure.

Larry’s Wire: http://larryswire.blogspot.com/, by Larry Horist, Public Policy Caucuses

Style: Small-time Conservative Soapbox

Sample: “How is it that Mrs. Sheehan chooses not to direct her venomous wrath at the very people who compelled her son to volunteer for dangerous, but noble, duty? Why is it she chooses to point the finger at the person she accuses as a symbolic killer, while aiding and abetting the very people who really killed Casey Sheehan?”

Critique: The default template and long passages show that Larry isn’t interested in form so much as function. The conservative ranting is fairly standard for this type of blog, but at points, Larry’s Wire shows a piquant sort of amateur novaeau innocence. Unfortunately, he tends too much to the common discussion to make a showing this year, but look for greater things from Larry Horist. Not that much greater, but, we hope, a little.

Rating: A sniff of the snuffbox and a small tip of the hat. No great shakes.

Cinncinnati Greens: http://cincinnatigreens.blogspot.com/, by The Dean of Cinncinnati, et al.

Style: Activist Revenge Blog

Sample: “Gwen, defending the legitimacy of the party, of course flaunted her large list serve. She pointed out to the writer that they had hit 170 members. Today, when reporting to Ken Sain what liars the writers on this blog are, she reported an astounding 180 members now on her list serve. To anyone doing the math that is some significant growth. 10 additions to the list serve in 3 years. I suppose it is difficult to add people to a restricted list when e-mail goes unchecked.”

Critique: Another default template, but at least this one seems to have been selected to match the content, if only in a most basic way. There is a prominent list of five contributors, but the proliferation of posts by one Andrew Warner suggests that he is the motor powering the web presence of Cinncinnati Green party members. A marked absence of politics is available, and the replacement of such with personal arguments and vendettas, seemingly against members of the same party, makes this just another flavor among many. I don’t live in Cinncinnati, I’m not a member of the Green Party, I don’t know Gwen, so why should I care? The answer, unfortunately, is that I shouldn’t. Expand the content, bring out what Cinncinnati Greens means to you, Andrew Warner, and you’ll not have to worry about Gwen’s legitimacy, or unchecked emailing list!

Rating: Poor showing from Cinncinnati. Two fig leaves.

I’m a Proofreader: http://pyepeeler.blogspot.com/, by Pye Peeler

Style: Personal Record masquerading as Career Blog

Sample: “On Friday, after my shift was over, I checked out the traffic report at traffic.com and saw that both the 101 and 405 were quite congested, so I decided to go to a Barnes and Nobles near my work. I browsed through a few magazines (i.e. Psychology Today, NBA Inside Stuff, and Los Angeles). And I learned a few things (e.g. apples, oranges, kidney beans, and fish are good sources of brain food). I’ll probably stop by the bookstore at least a few times a week after work instead of being trapped in bumper-to-bumper traffic on my way home.”

Critique: Interest! “A Proofreader”! What an interesting life he must have, constantly reading and proofing, and sometimes both at the same time! But in the thick of it, among the images and text (images! finally, some life in a blog!), there is naught but tidbits about even the most obvious details. How does this proofreading work? Where does he do this proofreading? What does he, in fact, proofread? We find none of it. Instead there is a mundane aftertaste, a character in a boring novel. Go to Barnes and Noble and look at magazines? We do that every day, why shall we bother to read about you doing it? We must admit, however, your grammar does seem impeccable.

Rating: Average, leaning towards the lower end of the scale.

The World of Staci http://worldofstaci.blogspot.com/, by Staci

Style: I Make Fun of Celebs While Wishing I Was One

Sample: “Fitty-Cent (that’s 50 Cent) has writtten a book called “From Pieces to Weight”. I don’t have anything else to write, but I just wanted to say “Fitty Cent” / “This is Tina Holmes. I’m only putting her here because she’s on one of my favorite shows, Six Feet Under, and I can’t stand her character on that show!!!”

Critique: A sparse template implementation hides even sparser content. There are news pieces cut whole cloth from the wires, and there are pictures inserted from services, but the blog is called “World of Staci,” so where’s the Staci? We only see a little, and frankly, Staci, what we see isn’t encouraging. There are possibilities on the internet, surely, for celeb embarassment (see Go Fug Yourself, Pink is the New Blog– both surreptiously linked here, we presume as inspiration), but they don’t seem to be used here, Staci. Kim Stewart wears *that* dress, and the best we get is “black is back? i don’t think so”? Where is this “oh so exciting life” we were promised? I don’t think so, either.

Rating: Forgettable. Try harder next time.

Belacan Times: http://belacans.blogspot.com/, by “A middle age Malaysian living in Kuala Lumpur”

Style: Personal Mixed Language Craziness

Sample: “B: But i don’t want to spend so much on a car wor…

Mrs B: What’s your budget?

B: You know me lar, as cheap as possible but still wanna a quality car that I can use for 7 years. Kelisa and Savvy around Rm40k, the MyVI around RM50k. The rest, tak mau tengok.

Mrs B: Ya lar, not many choices in that price range.”

Critique: Finally, we have escaped the default template ghetto. A large bloghead invites us to “spice up your life” and we are off and running. At first glance, there is a standard domestic blog here: stories of the household and feelings about dealing with family life and work problems. But there is also a flavor of the foreign blog, as well– our author is an expatriate? To where? From where? Is he posting to home, or from there? Or is he not sure where home is? We certainly aren’t. Finally, there is the language, which, as far as we’re concerned, makes the scene here. What is a “MyVi,” “ya lar,” “tak mau tengok”? We are entranced. It’s a shocking aroma that will keep us reading throughout. All the way back to July 2005.

Rating: Enticing. Added to bookmarks!