As you may have noticed, I have not posted anything to this fine web establishment in the past few days, because I’ve been vacationing in sunny St. Louis for the Thanksgiving holiday. Here’s hoping you and yours have had a happy one.

While I’ve been here, I’ve discovered this amazing new drug!

Introducing Tryptophan, from Schrammco Medical

Want to feel full on Thanksgiving Day? Or a nap right after dinner? Watching the Lions play football (badly) a little too attentitively?

If so, you may be eligible to try Tryptophan, a new drug from Schrammco Medical.

Tryptophan is scientifically proven, by real scientists (and even some fake ones!), to give you just that late afternoon nap you need after a big Thanksgiving dinner. It relaxes the brain and stimulates the waist, so that you feel full, relaxed, and ready to wander off to your room and take a nap just in time to avoid Aunt Bertha’s latest round of complaining about all the family members that didn’t make it to visit this year.

Yes, Tryptophan is all that and more. We’re not saying it’s a wonder drug, but we wouldn’t be lying if we did. Plus, it’s available in easy-to-digest avian form! You’ll “gobble” it up. Ask your doctor if tryptophan is right for you today.

NOTE: Side effects of tryptophan include sleepiness, large amounts of contact with distant family members, and a need to loosen the belt after dinner. Tryptophan should be consumed with mashed potatoes, dinner rolls, and, if possible, cranberries. Wait until at least 3 hours after consuming tryptophan to enjoy coffee and dessert. Vegans, vegetarians, and other crazy people should not consume tryptophan. See your doctor for more information.

Tryptophan: Whenever Thanksgiving comes around, it’ll be there.