I wrote this as an away message a long time ago, and this girl messaged me and said she “seriously read it, like 10 times and laughed everytime.” True story.

“Hello?”

“Hi this is Mike Schramm, and I’m looking for…”

“Wait a minute! THIS is Mike Schramm! Who are you??”

“I’m Mike Sch.. wait, what’s going on here?”

*universe explodes*