Did you see my pictures from the protest downtown? Now you can read the article about it, too.

Bad news coming down the pike from the Army. MSNBC reports they’re missing their recruitment goals again:

“I’m clearly not going to give up,” Harvey said. “At this stage we still have six months to go” before the recruiting year ends Sept. 30. “I’ve challenged our human resource people to get as innovative as they can. And even as we speak we’ve got a number of new ideas.”

Perhaps you’re wondering what some of these “new ideas” are. Wonder no more.

-New Slogans: “The Army: Everybody gets a gun!” Runner up: “Join up at your local recruiter now, or the terrorists have already won!”

-Start up a Senior Citizens Corps. When they ask who they’re fighting, make up something about the Nazis returning.

-Appeal to the youngsters by making a cool new shooting game, and then recruit the winners. Oh, wait, that’s already been done.

-Admitting that we really do need more than an Army of One.

-All those militias wandering around Michigan? Let’s just export ‘em to Baghdad, and they can do the fighting for us!

-Look into creating a relationship with the Kiss Army, whoever they are. Rumor has it that they follow the rule of the rebel leader, Gene Simmons, and that they want to “rock and roll all night,” whatever that means..

-Change name from “United States Army” to a moniker that better identifies our cause. Suggestion: “The United States Anti-Peace Corps.”

-Stop letting the media run all these anti-patriotic stories about us “invading” other countries and “killing” people with “high-tech weapondry”.

-Reassure potential recruits that Dubya is the Commander in name only– all decisions are made by a cool, top-secret shadow government.

-Humans won’t join us? Let’s start recruiting robots!