I’ve been thinking about this. And I’ve determined that it takes time to get to know someone. When you first meet someone, you don’t really know them. Sure, you’re probably introduced to them and you know their name and maybe you even know who they are. You can get an impression of what they’re like. But you don’t really know them. Not right away. It takes time to get to know someone.

And I’ve figured that it takes roughly about 100 hours.

Give or take, of course. This is not an exact science. I can’t say for sure that after you’ve been around someone 100 hours, you’ll exactly know all of their intentions and interests and history and secrets. It could take a lifetime with someone to get to know all that. And heck, if they’re lying to you for any reason (they don’t like you, they’re naturally evil, they’re amusing themselves), it will probably take much longer than that. But I’m going to say that, under ideal circumstances, 100 hours is right about the time you get to know someone.

Because here’s my thing: I give the wrong impression. I would say that, if I’m not careful, about 60, maybe 65% of the time that I meet someone, I give the wrong impression. They think I’m something I’m not, or assume I’m always something that I’m usually not. I’m a weird and strange person (I don’t have to tell you that, mikeschramm.com reader), and I change all the time, and so when people look at me, they don’t usually see the average of what I am, they see the extreme. I’m extremely boring, or annoying, or happy, or intelligent or dumb, or lame or cool. I’m not actually any of those things, but that’s the impression they get.

But then, within 100 hours, they’ve had the chance to see a good percentage of what I am. They’ve seen that I’m not that completely lame, but there are a lot of cool things I don’t know about. They see that I can say some intelligent things, but I pretty often say stupid ones. I’m happy sometimes, I’m boring sometimes, I’m annoying– well, no, that’s actually pretty accurate all the time.

And it’s the same with me and other people. I meet someone and think they’re awesome because they love that old TV show that only I love and no one’s ever heard of, but then about 80 hours later into the acquaintance, they tell me that Batman is “teh gay.” End of relationship! Or I’ll meet someone and they give me a strange look, but later I find out they just had something in their eye. Or something like that– that’s the way you all seem to me, people. You’re all so weird.

But after about 100 hours, I’ve seen a few different side of them. And they’ve seen a few different sides of me. The alert among you will note that 100 hours is just over two weeks, which is about how long I’ve spent at my new job. And it seems to me that I’m just finally starting to realize who the people there are, as I think they’re finally starting to realize who I am, too.

So the next time we meet, please don’t just turn around and walk away because you think I’m a weirdo or my hair is messed up. 25 hours in, don’t decline that movie invitation because I happened to mention that I think The Notebook was a terrible movie. Presented with the right evidence, I can change. And you might find, as might I, that, 100 hours in, we actually, when you think about it, have a lot more in common than we thought.

Unless you’re not impressed by Batman. Then, please, just don’t talk to me.