Hello! Congrats on the purchase of your brand new BuildCo Shelving Unit 457B Plus! This shelving unit will store books, DVDs, CDs, video games, collectibles, pictures, or anything else you need to store or display. Your shelving unit requires just a bit of assembly, but if you simply follow the steps below, you’ll be able to store and shelve in no time!
1. Unpack your BuildCo Shelving Unit 457B Plus by taking all of the included pieces (and this instruction sheet) out of the box. Please consult the included part list to make sure no pieces of your Shelving Unit are missing or lost in shipment.
2. Lay all of the pieces out on the floor so they are all easily accessible as you assemble the Shelving Unit. Look at how small your living space is!
3. Take shelve pieces A, B, C, and D, and use fasteners of size 2 to connect to sidewall H. While you do so, consider moving to a bigger place. You could probably afford the rent if you had to, but moving is such a pain, especially when you’re buying big furniture like this.
4. No, it’s just not worth a move right now. Maybe next year when your lease comes up. Take sidewall G, and use the other fasteners size 2 to connect it to the other side of shelve pieces A, B, C, and D.
5. Once the shelves and sidewalls are assembled, your Shelving Unit should look like figure alpha. It looks pretty good! You should do this more often — work with your hands like this. You don’t do things like this often enough. Take floor piece E and attach it to the bottom sides of H and G with fasteners size 6.
6. With the floor piece attached, connect bottom molding (parts J-M) around the edges of piece E. That’s right — you bought the 457B Plus. It’s got all kinds of awesome molding and shit. Baller.
7. Attach shelf moulding pieces N-Q to the front sides of shelves A-D. Seriously, this shelf is looking pretty good right now. You’re going to store all kind of great things on these shelves. Hey, maybe you’ll even get those books out of the closet that you had to store when you moved in a few years ago because you didn’t have the shelf space!
8. Ensure shelf moulding is secure, then fasten it with fasteners size 1.
9. No wait — you took all of those books to the thrift store a few months ago when you cleaned that closet out. Well shoot — there were some good ones in there. Damn. You really wish you’d kept those. After a long moment of regret, attach top piece I to the top of sidewalls H and G.
10. You always do this to yourself. You always get excited about something, and then run out and buy way more than you need. Like that time you bought that blender that collects dust in the kitchen, or the ukulele you never play. It barely matters now, but go ahead and put top moulding pieces R-T around piece I once secured. Shake your head occasionally, showing frustration at yourself and the way you seem to behave.
11. There are only a few parts left, but go ahead and put the Shelving Unit in its place just to see how it’ll look. Looks great, doesn’t it? Just what you need — a constant, clear reminder of you and your stupid habits. It’s hardly worth assembling the rest of it at this point, isn’t it?
12. Give up. Throw the leftover parts in a baggie, and toss them in a kitchen drawer, and go ahead and put the few books you still have left (so damn few, especially since you bought that Kindle) on the shelf. Shake your head one last time, shove back piece V behind the shelves, and try to forget about this stupid bookshelf for a while, even though you see the damn thing every time you walk by.
13. Wait a few months. First you’ll still be frustrated, but then you’ll slowly move on, at first just to another quick obsession. Sooner rather than later, however (through a relationship or a job move, perhaps), you start to realize that this is a pattern, and that by being aware of it, you can fight it. You start to realize that you’re being way too hard on yourself, that everybody chases passions and sometimes they work out and sometimes they don’t. Plus, books are books — you buy a few more at garage sales and thrift stores yourself, and you rebuild your collection. You pick up a few old favorites that you’re really proud of, and whenever you start to get frustrated that you’re not doing enough with your life, you remember that it’s not so bad. You’ve got a good job, you’ve got a nice place to live and food on the table. Hell, you were able to buy this Shelving Unit B Plus or whatever it’s called, right? Realize after a little more life experience that things aren’t so bad.
14. While showing a new friend around your house, notice that you never actually finished assembling that shelving unit you bought a while ago. Make a joke to your new friend that the unit is a work in progress, but secretly resolve to finish what you started.
15. A few days later, on a weekend afternoon, remember that you had planned to fix that bookshelf finally, and pull the old fasteners out of that kitchen drawer where you stashed them. Pull your books off of the unit, dust it off with a damp rag with the window open and some old rock and roll playing through your stereo, and finally, attach back piece V to the back of sidewall pieces H and G. Use fasteners size 3, and notice that there is one extra in the baggie, just in case you’ve lost another one on the way.
16. Put the shelves back on the wall and admire your handiwork. Admire yourself. It’s the little victories that make life feel like a big victory, after all.
Congratulations again on your purchase of a BuildCo Shelving Unit 457B Plus. We’re sure it really ties your room together. If you have other organizational needs, please consider the BuildCo Closet Organizer 27 Flex, the BuildCo Heirloom Chest Deluxe AR, or the BuildCo Home Office Desk Premium! Whenever you need a helping hand, BuildCo is there!
Posted on Friday, November 14th, 2014 at 1:21 am. Filed under general.