Happy weekend, yall. I’m buying World of Warcraft for myself today as an early birthday present, so I’ll be playing that until my eyes fall out.

Britney sighed. She’d forgotten about soccer practice. Again. She had to be over to Beachwood Elementary to pick up Kevin Jr. by five again, or he’d be late for practice.

“Mrs. Federline?” the guidance counselor interrupted her train of thought.

“Yes, I’m sorry, what is it?” she answered, wiping her forehead. The slightest traces of wrinkles were already appearing there, the thinnest of crows feet around her eyes.

“I was saying that I think we have an issue here,” the guidance counselor continued. She was an older woman named Henrietta Jergen. Britney didn’t really like her– she spoke as if she knew everything that no one else did, like an old schoolmarm. Or at least Britney would have thought she spoke like an old schoolmarm if she’d ever been to school.

Henrietta continued. “Young Cheeto just isn’t very involved in her schoolwork. She doesn’t play well with the other children, and she’s not showing initiative the way she should at this age.”

Britney sighed again, and looked at her daughter, playing on the floor. Before she’d had Kevin Jr six years ago, life had been easier. Vamping for the tabloids with a cigarette or a drink, going on shopping sprees with Jamie Lynn, and meditating with Madonna. After the first baby, though, Kevin Jr., everything had changed.

“That’s certainly something to think about,” she told Henrietta, and looked at her watch. 4:35. Just over twenty minutes to get out of here and get Kevin Jr. to soccer practice. Then she’d have to run by the supermarket and grab something for tonight. But it couldn’t take too long, because there was lots of homework to be done– Kevin Jr had a science project that he’d been putting off for weeks. Some diorama or something. She’d have to help him with that, right after she looked up what a diorama was. Either way, not a lot of time for food. Hamburger Helper or mac and cheese again.

“It is,” answered the guidance counselor. “I hope that everything is fine at home?” Sure, it was, thought Britney while mentally rolling her eyes. Kevin Sr. wasn’t into raising kids from the beginning, but with Britney pregnant, they decided he’d have to be the one bringing home the bacon. With the economy the way it was, the best he could find was a job selling insurance for an old high school friend’s dad. It made OK money (enought for Hamburger Helper), but it involved a lot of cold calling, and it brought Kevin home grumpy at the end of the night. Their marriage suffered for it– they only ever said a few words to each other anymore. But, they had decided over a tasteful dinner date a while back, that they’d stay together. They were in it for the long run, for the sake of the children. But Britney wondered to herself what kind of life their children were leading. All she wanted to do was give them all the chances she’d never had.

Well, the chances she’d never taken advantage of. Well, at least some of the chances that she’d had. Well, at least some of the chances she still remembered.

“Life at home is fine,” she told Henrietta. 4:39. “Will this take long? We have to pick up Cheeto’s brother.”

“I understand,” said Henrietta, but Britney wondered if she did. “It may be a phase, but I’d say the best thing to do is to provide her with a solid foundation of learning at home. Life may be busy”– 4:41– “but there’s nothing more important than our children.”

This is toxic, Britney thought. Get me out of here. “I agree.”

Henrietta thanked her for coming in, and Britney swiped up Cheeto and her toys, and headed for the minivan. Henrietta watched out the window as Britney strapped her daughter into the back seat and then sat in front, put the keys in the ignition. For a moment, she thought she saw Britney pause a second, lean over the wheel, and rub her forehead slowly while Cheeto fussed and fidgeted in the back seat.

Then, Britney sat up, turned on the ignition, and pulled the minivan out of the school parking lot. She flicked on her turn signal, and waited for the light to change so she could go pick up Kevin Jr. for soccer practice.