I didn’t mention this yesterday, but as of 2/1 my car is now fully paid off! No more car payments! I am now the proud, full owner of a 1996 Ford Explorer.

My mother emailed me and said she liked the “sad chair photos” on my website. What was she talking about?

Happy Groundhog Day! I’m watching Bill Murray’s best movie as I write this.

Punxsutawney Phil Forecasts Everything

Well, folks, Punxsutawney Phil took a look outside today, and he reports that he has seen his shadow! That’s right, according to him, there’ll be six more weeks of winter.

Also, he reports that his tea was cold, not hot, this morning, so we’re going to be expecting rain for the rest of the weekend.

In local news, he says that because his door’s top lock was locked when he woke up, police will catch the cat burglar that’s been terrorizing the community.

And because a coin he flipped landed heads up, we’re reporting that the Mayor will approve the new school funding budget next week.

On the international front, Phil is reporting that because he woke up facing the left side of his bed, relations between the Israelis and Palestinians will continue to escalate, and violence will continue in that region of the country.

The foreign minister of Iran recently announced that his country is not pursuing a nuclear weapons program, but because Punxsutawney Phil saw a robin outside his window, it appears he is lying.

And because Phil accidentally burnt his eggs this morning, he says we only have about three years before Earth is invaded by aliens, and we’re all enslaved to do their nefarious bidding. However, he says not to worry, because since Phil found his shoelaces untied, he says we have about five years until a meteor hits Earth, and wipes out all live on it, both human and alien.

And finally tonight, I’ve just been passed a note that says since Punxsutawney Phil accidentally slipped on his stairs this morning, he’d like me to know that my wife is sleeping with me.

What? Nancy?!?