A lot of people bought greeting cards from work yesterday for Mother’s Day. But they’re all so hyperbolic– “here’s hoping you have a GREAT day” or “You’re the Most AMAZING Person” or “I LOVE you.” What if they made greeting cards for people who weren’t so sure about their emotions?

“Get well soon. If you can, that is. I’m sure they’re doing everything possible for you.”

“This is just a note to thank you. For your offer to help. Sorry I didn’t take you up on it, but I just wasn’t sure you’d do it right.”

“You’re a pretty good person, I guess. You have a strange laugh, but it’s not too grating.”

“I really like being with you. On Thursdays. And sometimes during the weekend, but only if I’m not too busy.”

“Have a happy birthday! I mean, if you want. It’s your day, do whatever you think is right.”

“To the 4th or 5th best Grandad in the world! Well, top 10 at least. Inside the top 100 for sure. Probably.”

“You’re 30! That’s pretty old. Don’t get me wrong, you’re not like an old maid or anything, you’re still young! Just not that young.”

“Happy birthday, nephew! Or is it second cousin? I never get these right. Maybe it’s first cousin, once removed. If you’re my sister’s daughter’s cousin, what does that make you? Are we even related?”

“Sorry to hear about your loss. I wish I’d known him better. Maybe he would have seemed like a better person. I mean, I only met him that once.”

“Happy Anniversary! I think. It’s usually sometime around this part of the year, right? I know it’s right near Labor Day. If it isn’t, can you just pretend this card says how much I love you or something? Thanks.”

“It’s a boy! Isn’t it?”