Welcome back, dear reader! Did you enjoy your weekend? I hope you did. I enjoyed mine, as I got to see “Sons of Liberty”. It was interesting and fun.

About four months ago I was blessed with the incredible technological advance that is known as Gmail, Google’s email service, famous for the fact that you can save one gigabyte of emails on it for free. A month or so after that, I logged in to find that I had a few gmail invites to give away– invitations that I could send to people to let them have their own free gmail account. Being an enterprising type, I instead decided to give them away to craigslisters:

Chicago Craigslist posting: 10-6-04
Title: gmail invites

Just in case you haven’t experienced the constant orgasm that is gmail, they gave me some invites to give away. Yours if you want them. Email me and, in haiku form (or sestina form, if you have a ton of free time), tell me why you want one.

Haikus, if you’ll recall, are short japanese poems consisting of three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, and usually containing a seasonal reference. In response, I got sent a few of them, although no one tried a sestina. To protect the innocent, I’ve not included the names of the authors, but know that I did not write these, I’m merely reprinting real haikus that were sent to me.

i want a gmail
because gmail is awsome
have no service now

Can you send me an gmail invite..
i will be thankful..
i came to know thru craigslist..

Obviously, those are terrible. The last three aren’t even haikus, and have spelling errors and strange punctuation. I did get one good one, and sent them an invite right away:

Gmail invites, yes?
Unlike spring blossoms, still there?
My geek needs one bad!

Not bad, and it’s even got a seasonal reference. However, I am sure, dear reader, that you could do much better. Heck, maybe you could even come up with an actual sestina about gmail. And it just so happens that I do have one gmail invite left to send. So go ahead, send me your gmail haikus, and not only will I reprint them here, but I will give the best one a real-live, actual gmail invitation. Send away!