Guess what? No, really, guess.
Nope.
No, but I did try that once.
No! Man that’s sick!
Wow, you’re a terrible guesser. I’ll tell you out of pity. I made a big, very neat, very important purchase today, one that will affect the way this site, and by extension, my life, looks and runs. If I was really shallow, I’d say it made me, like, 300% cooler, but I’m not that shallow, so I’ll say… oh, 175% cooler. I won’t tell you what it is yet, because I don’t actually have it, but when it shows up on my doorstep, you’ll know. Oh, you’ll know.
Anyway, that all has nothing to do with today’s dose of Schramm. I was shelving some magazines at work today, and I noticed that American Girl Magazine (I don’t usually read it, I was just shelving it. Seriously.) had a funny, and at the same time, very sick article in it. So here are some lists inspired by said article.
True Blue (best, most loyal)
The Giggling Girl (laughs at your jokes)
Casual Friend (has a same interest, like roller skating or soccer)
The Go-To Girl (always has great advice)
Faraway Friend (pen pal)
Delightfully Different (the kooky one)
Furry Friend (despite what you thought, it’s some kind of pet “or stuffed animal”)
A Few More Friends They Don’t Mention
Backstabber (steals your boyfriend)
The Ugly One (makes you look good by association)
The Mute (lets you talk your head off)
The Not-Quite-A-Boyfriend (you like him, but you wouldn’t date him– he’s there for your ego)
The Boyfriend (jerk who looks good)
The Slut (at least you’re not as bad as she is)
The Non Friend (you were friends until you heard she said something bad about you)
Wayback Friend (you used to be friends in third grade, but now you’ve forgotten her last name)
And, Just So I Can Stay Secure In My Masculinity, A Few Friends Every Guy Already Has
This Dude You Know
This Dude You Know
This Dude You Know
This Dude You Know
This Dude You Know
This Dude You Know
This Dude You Know
This Dude You Know Who Has A Big Screen
This Dude You Know Who Hooks You Up With Weed
This Dude You Used To Know Until He Got Married Last Year
Posted on Tuesday, January 25th, 2005 at 12:13 am. Filed under general.