It’s looking more and more like rap hack “Cam’ron” is ready to use his shooting to his own advantage, even if he doesn’t necessarily have darker intentions. Not only is he bragging about his shooting and his new album, apparently his rhymes suck. As much as mine do.

Cam’ron A&R Meeting

Record Exec: Listen, Cam’ron, we’ve got to do something about this new album.

Cam’ron: No, you listen, RE. Cam’ron drops mad beats that are straight off the streets. Homies buy that album in flocks, no need to put the glock to their heads, heard what I said?

RE: What’s that? Glocks? Hey, wait a minute! I got an idea!

Cam’ron: An idea in your head? That’s what I said, yo. Don’t leap to Cam’ron, or you’ll get stepped on. Holla!

RE: No, listen. Let’s get someone to pull a gat on you! Shootings worked wonders for 50 Cent, and he’s talentless! You’re worse than he is, but at least you can finally get some attention, since right now no one’s ever even heard of you!

Cam’ron: They all heard of Cam, all the crackheads on the lam. They plays my jam, in a boat or on a tram! Tramizzle!

RE: Wow, that’s terrible. Now, listen, let’s just get some dude to shoot you– heck, I could do it. Nothing fatal, maybe just a shot in your arm or something. No, wait, let’s do it through both arms! Two wounds for the price of one!

Cam’ron: Two for one– Just like buns in the ov-un! Huh!

RE: Holy crap, that’s the worst rhyme I ever heard. Why did I ever give you a deal in the first place? Anyway, that’s over now. All we have to do is shoot you. Make sure during every interview you mention your album, and sell yourself as an egotistical hack. Oh wait, you do that fine by yourself.

Cam’ron: Talentless and wack, that’s Cam’ron from the back! Lay it down on the track because Cam’s got your back, and if you think that ain’t fly I’ll take you out the sky, don’t think I won’t do it, you quack!

RE: I can’t take any more of this. *shoots Cam’ron*

Cam’ron: OW!

RE: Oh my gosh, are you ok?

Cam’ron: Ow, like pow, what I did to your cow in the hayfield, lay field, I roll up the green on the scene, whether dirty or clean I’m in between your lady and your new limosine…

RE: Oh, just make it stop! *shoots Cam’ron again*