I’ve been bowling once a week lately — I joined a league here in LA for fun, and I’m having a really good time with it. I kind of want to learn the lingo, but there’s not actually that much of it. So I figured I’d make some up.

Actually, never mind, there’s plenty of it. Did you know you have to make sure your axis tilt is right, or you might end up in the back ends and miss your chance at picking up a baby split? But I’ll make some up anyway.

Greased: Three beers in, prime condition for throwing strikes. Example: “We’re only in the second game, and Mike is greased already.”

Utterball: A shot that rolls down the side of the lane and only hits one pin. Almost a gutterball.

Sly five: A high five (the premiere form of congratulation in our league, for a reason I can’t quite ascertain) in which neither participant is actually looking at the connection.

The turn: A move you perform when you let the ball go and just know, even before it reaches the first set of arrows on the lane, that it’s a bad throw. You turn away from the lane and walk back to your seat, dejected.

Empashrug: A shrugging/slight grinning gesture made when your teammate misses pins entirely. Vaguely says, “Oh well. Next time.”

Bump toss: Throwing the ball down the lane in such a way that it actually bounces off the surface as it goes. Not very graceful, but surprisingly effective.

Spaced invader: Someone who bowls in the wrong lane because they weren’t paying attention.

Dodging the Bird: Purposely missing some pins in the frame after two strikes, so you don’t get three strikes (also called a Turkey) and have to do the stupid turkey dance that some bowlers will make you do.