So I bought a PDA the other day. For me, this is a big thing. Sure, everybody likes getting new toys, but I really, really love getting new toys. I studied up and searched, and priced and compared. I thought about what I’d need and what I’d want, and then what I’d want some more, and then I remember that I should probably think about what I need. And then I went out, spend the exact right amount of money, and painfully waited for it to come in the mail. And it did, and now I’m totally thrilled. The thing is awesome.

So today is for me. I promise this will be the only day I’ll crow and brag about the thing. After this I probably won’t even mention it (although you can see pictures from it down below in my brand spankin’ new photoblog!).

BILLY CRYSTAL: Wow, I remember the first time I ever saw Mike’s new PDA. We were in LA, at the Ha-Ha Hole, this dump of a club over on Sunset, and that thing got up on stage, and people just… they went nuts! I mean, it was so small, and so powerful. I think it did some calculating tasks or kept contacts or something, but no one even cared, because they loved it so much. That little PDA. And we knew, I mean we knew that this thing was going to be great.

MARTIN SCORSESE: Well obviously it’s talented. I mean, Mike’s new PDA can do all kinds of stuff, pretty much everything you’d need it to do. It’s got a calendar system, so you can organize all your time. There’s a Todo list, so instead of writing on little piece of paper, Mike can just put something on there and then he knows to do it later! But you can find that in any PDA– this thing has a mic on it! You can take voice memos! I remember, we worked together on Raging Bull, and Mike’s new PDA– you know what it said to me? It said “Don’t forget to move the laundry to the dryer.” It was a voice memo! That’s what it said. I’ll never forget that.

RACHEL WEISZ: It’s really sexy. Really small and sexy, like metallic. The screen is big, but the whole thing is just very, very sexy. Wow.

TOM HANKS: And I know Mike put all kinds of games on it, you know. There’s, like, text adventures– remember text adventures? He can play Zork on it! And of course he got Bejeweled. Everybody has that one. He’s got 3D Pong, and this thing called Space Trader that’s like a spaceship trading simulation, lots of fun. iRogue is a version of Nethack for the Palm, very cool. But my favorite, and I know Mike loves this one, is Fish Tycoon. You can breed and sell fish! In real time! Very neat, just very neat.

GWENYTH PALTROW: Wow, that thing is sexy. It kind of reminds me of Mike, really.

KEVIN SPACEY: Did you know there’s a camera on there? Yeah, Mike’s new PDA has a digital camera built right into it. He can just take pictures, and then transfer them to his computer, or post them to the Internet. I think he’s got a photoblog now, I saw it the other day somewhere. And, listen to this, if you’re in his contacts list, he can take a picture of you, and bam, it’s right up onto that contacts list. I haven’t seen anything that cool since, well, ever!

KATE HUDSON: Mike’s new PDA and I had a fling once. We were on the set of Almost Famous. I would say that his PDA probably doesn’t remember it, but with 32MB of built in memory and a Secure Digital card slot that can hold up to an extra gigabyte, it probably does.

GEORGE LUCAS: It’s going to change his life, really. There’s a thing on Mike’s new PDA that keeps track of his car, like when you need to do oil changes and stuff. That’s great. He put a map of Chicago on it, so he knows exactly how to get around the city! There’s a program on there that keeps track of his D&D characters, and one that can control his television– he programmed it to work as a remote control! And the darn thing is wireless, so Mike can connect up to the internet without any cables or anything! That technology, it’s just awesome. It’s really incredible. Yes, Mike’s new PDA is really going to be amazing. Unlike my movies lately.