The website that I work on was mentioned on today’s Jerry Springer radio show. So if I die and show up at the Pearly Gates, and St. Paul asks me if I’ve affected anyone’s life, I’ll be like, “Jerry Springer’s listeners?” That’ll get me right in, I know it.

Superman’s Friendster Testimonials

Jimmy

Supes is great! I can’t count the number of times he’s saved me from danger! Thanks Superman!

Lois

Hey babe!! You’re the best! Remember that time when you died? I was so worried! But of course you came back later and everything was fine. I love thinking about you! Ok enough wasting time at work, see you later!!!!!!!!!!!

Bizarro

Bizarro hate superman! superman, why you no return bizzarro’s call when he ask if you if you want to go out for pizza! bizarro feel happy when superman do that, but bizarro is opposite, so he feel sad. also, why superman no leave testimonial on bizarro’s friendster! Bizarro smash!

Lex

Superman is a dick.

Flash

Superman is really doing a great job leading the League. Sure, I joke around from time to time, and we get in our scrapes, but he’s really been there for the rest of us. I’m sure I speak for GL, Atom, Jhonn, and the rest of us when I say that Superman is a great friend.

Batman

Superman is a dick.

Lois

Oh, before I forgot to say that Superman is the cutest ever! I heart you, Superman, to the max! The red cape is awesome.

Spiderman

Hi, do I know you? Apparently you’re in my extended network. Did we meet somewhere?

Brainiac

I can’t believe you imbecile heathens use this crappy social networking site. All you do here is prattle on and on about how great you all are and how much you care for one another. Figures that you idiots would use this thing all the time.

You should use MySpace instead. More people there.

Mr. Mxyzptlk

I just wrote you the perfect testimonial, but it got erased. I’m not doing it again.