Mike Schramm was born at an early age, and has lived a life of mystery and intrigue since then.

After a small stint dealing blackjack in a Las Vegas casino, he was hired by the NSA to work as a double agent for a druglord in Casablanca. He was put under deep cover and, over a period of months, gained the trust of his dirty employer, and then ruthlessly betrayed him. Afterwards, they all had a good laugh about it over espresso and biscotti.

Returning to the United States, Schramm went back to the lab and invented the world's fastest food processor. Known as "The Chopinator," he sold five million units in two months over the black market Home Shopping Network, until it was found out that, in direct opposition to his claim about the product, the Chopinator did not actually chop. Nor did it mince, slice, or puree. In fact, all the Chopinator did was mash, and even after a quick campaign as "The Mashinator," the project quickly failed.

Left again to his own devices, Schramm has created mikeschramm.com, an outlet for his creative impulses and a vehicle for his own promotion. It's updated five times a week, and open for entertainment 24 hours a day. It's paradise, your every wish fulfilled, and birthday cake all rolled into one.

Have a question for Mike? Email him.

Mike is also looking for a job. Want a creative, intelligent freelance editor/writer to write amazing things for you? Mike has finally found a job writing, and it's a good one, so you missed your chance. However, he's still freelancing, and is writing for places as interesting and varied as Newcity magazine, Time Out Chicago, and Opium Magazine. Maybe you would like him to write something for you? Email him now!

Mike regularly visits these fine web establishments (many of the bloggin' links are stolen from here also, so visit them right away):
Fark.com
Boing Boing
Zulkey.com
Defamer
linkbunnies
Daily Dinosaur Comics
Craigslist Chicago
Kottke.org
The Superficial
stereogum

Not only has Timber Masterson written for McSweeney's (and probably met Dave Eggers personally), but he has also visited this site and claims to dig it.