Hi! Welcome to KillQuest!
You look like a strapping young lad! Well, we better get you killing! I suppose you could go south a ways. There are a bunch of beavers there building a dam across a river that we need to keep flowing. Why don’t you go kill 5 of them and then come back here to me?
Done already? My, that was fast. Are they all dead? Good! Here, have this sword– it’ll help you kill! Also, you can have some experience, and here’s a little gold. Well! What should we do next. Oh, I know! There are some spiders off to the east. How about you go kill, say, 20 of them? I’ll be right here when you get back.
How did it go? Oh, you died a few times? Bummer. But you killed them, right? Great! Here’s some more experience for ya, and some gold. Where do you spend it? With me of course! What can I get you? A bigger sword? You got it!
Oh, you probably want something else to kill now, don’t you? Well, I wasn’t sure if I was going to bring this up or not, but I do have this other little thing that needs to be done. What is it? Well, my sales have recently peaked– what’s that? Yes, I mean when you bought that sword from me a second ago– and I owe some money around town. It’s not a big sum, but I do owe some money to a beaver.
That’s right, I owe a beaver some money. And I was wondering if you would take it to him. He’s down– yes, down south, there. Yes, I believe he is near the beavers that you killed earlier.
Oh– and while you’re out, can you kill a few spiders for me as well? Say, 40? What are they for? I don’t know, pretend they’re attacking the town or something. Off you go.
Back, are you? How’d the delivery go? Did the beaver get his money? And the spiders, did you kill them? Great! Here’s some experience.
Now, I have a very special quest for you. What’s that? What’s a boss quest? Never mind, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Here’s the quest. It’s very important. I need you to go to the grocery store up north. And get me a six pack.
What do you mean, you won’t? You killed all those beavers and spiders I asked you to kill didn’t you? And when I owed the beaver money, you returned it to him, right? All I need now is just a little beer. Sure, I’ll give you some experience or something, whatever. A bigger sword? Look, you’ve got the biggest sword we’ve got, all right?
Ok, fine, I’ll come up with something by the time you get back. Just go get me the beer, ok? What’s that? You want to kill something too? Look, go kill a squirrel or something. What, I have to come up with a name for it? Do I have to? Why don’t you just go get it??
“GREAT KNIGHT, THERE IS A SQUIRREL OF DESTRUCTION TERRORIZING THE LAND. PLEASE HELP US BY SLAYING THE MONSTER AND YOU WILL SECURE YOURSELF A PLACE IN OUR HISTORY! ALSO, PLEASE DON’T FORGET THAT SIX PACK, BECAUSE I’VE HAD A HELL OF A DAY, AND I REALLY NEED IT.”
How was that? Ok, fine, go. Whatever.
Did you get it?? Sweet beer! You don’t know how long I’ve needed this.
What? Oh, you want experience. Ummm… congradulations, warrior! You’ve beaten KillQuest. Nope, you’ve completely beaten it. Nothing else to kill. Congradulations!
Now leave me alone.